Shortly after we began looking, we happened to run into TwoBadDogs and The Greggers at Twin Sisters Bakery and Cafe, a vegan-lesbian-with-armpit-hair cafe tucked away in one of the more upscale locales of San Antone. They gave us a hot tip: the house next door to TwoBadDog's house was for rent! Two bedrooms! $1000/month! Being refurbished!

Of course, we ran over, and the Emster immediately fell in love with the old, run-down shack. Well, it wasn't in that bad shape, and the owner has done a lot to improve the place before and after we moved in. I handed the owner, who happened to be there, a large check for an undisclosed sum, sealing the deal.

Thus began the process of many trips to Home Depot, buying paint, painting the entire interior or the house a rainbow of pastels (under protest by yours truly), packing up our shit, moving said shit in U-Hauls, unpacking everything, setting up everything, more trips to Home Dept, debating how high to hang all the artwork, realizing that Home Depot generally sucks and going to the locally owned Shcnabel's Hardware instead where they were incredibly helpful and friendly, and so on and on and on.

We had finished moving in over five days (we took three off from work to do all of this). We've already had two parties, and I was able to find a geeked-out desk at Office Depot (no relation to Home Depot that I know of). The desk even has a powered USB hub, which allows me to hook all my geek stuff up to my powerbook like never before.

Our first night in the house, I had an urge to go sleep in the same room as my computer.

So that's where I've been for the past two weeks. Here in my new (rental) home. The Emster and I are now officially "Oh-niners" (as they call the denziens of the 78209 zip code here in San Antone). Technically, we now live in Alamo Heights, "City of Beauty and Charm."

Also! I almost forgot to share the new technologies which Emster and I have discovered:

• Washing Machine - You put your dirty clothes in with soap and they come out clean. You don't have to go to the laundry mat where drunk men will tell you things like "You can't beat your wife any more because she'll call the cops" (true story). We bought this fantastical device yesterday for $90. It is almost as old as the Emster.
• Dryer - You put the aforementioned clean-but-damp clothes in this device with a dryer sheet and they come out dry. It came with the house and has a light illuminating its control panel that never turns off.
• Dishwasher - You put dirty dishes into this contraption, which we discovered in the kitchen. Then you put "dishwasher soap" in to a little compartment on the swinging door thing, close it, turn a knob, and dishes are somehow clean 30 min or so later. According to Emster, you have to load dishes and whatnot in a certain way according to their weight, material, etc. or they break or melt or other bad things. We can put a man on the moon, but this contraption is so difficult to use? I haven't figured out how this machine works its magic, but I suspect that little elves that live in the house come out and clean the dishes.
• Ice Maker - Somehow, ice magically appears in my freezer (which the landlord bought brand new for us).
• Screened off front porch - ok, not really technology, but it still rocks. Need to get rocking chairs.
• Central air - I'm not sure what this is, but Emster is excited about it. At one point, I she was chanting it unceasingly, like a mantra. I've noticed that there are no window units in the house, so I hope that central air has something to do with making the house cooler when it gets to 110F this summer.
• Cable TV - I broke down and got Time Warner Cable so that Emster could watch Law and Order and ER, her two favorite shows. Also, there's March Madness. BUT we only got the basic broadcast channels. BUT, they give us ESPN, HBO, and some other channels that I'll never watch. The guy that installed our cable used to be a fullback for the Cleveland Browns, and I think he liked us and connected some wires or something.
  HDLCD TV and Tivo to follow?
• Closet space - again, not technology, but I need to mention that our house has enough closet space to handle Emster's extensive wardrobe, including her 30+ pairs of shoes. At one point she was concerned that she had lost a pair of red shoes, but it turned out that they were buried behind some other shoes.
• Pantry - this innovation in living space allows us to store food in an accessible, well organized manner.
• Built-in bookshelves - in the front living room. What the heck do I do with all my old bookshelves?
• Breakfast-nook - it seems that in times of old, people ate breakfast in a nook. We have daringly eaten other meals there as well since moving in. I hope this activity isn't in violation of an Alamo Heights city ordinance. I say this because TwoBadDogs warned me that I could get a ticket for parking my car on the street in front of the house that I am renting.
• Garage - we have a garage. I can put my bike there. The washing machine and dryer also live there. Also, there is a ton of storage space there and in an attic above the garage.
• Front and Backyard - the backyard is just a pit of dirt, but we have one and it is fenced in.
• Next-door neighbors - I have next-door neighbors with whom I am friend. TwoBadDogs also owns two bad dogs that love me already. Buster, the bigger of the two, escaped from his backyard on Monday to come visit me. Good bad dog!

Did I forget anything?